Food made of animals is less safe when it’s been made into other things first

People eat food that comes from animals as well as food that comes from trees and other growing things. People sometimes eat the animal-food without doing much else to it, but sometimes they like to turn it into other things first before eating it. They do this because the food feels nicer in their mouth, or because the food keeps longer, or because it lets them turn bits of the animal into food which may have had to be thrown away instead.

A study of nearly half a hundred-hundred-hundred people* has found that people who eat a lot of animal food which has been turned into other things have a higher chance of dying at a younger age, of getting problems with the parts of their bodies that move blood around the body, and of small parts of their bodies going out of control and growing very fast when they shouldn’t do.

The study, called EPIC, looked at 448,568 people from France, Italy, Spain, the Netherlands, the UK, Greece, Germany, Norway, Sweden and Denmark for a mean of 13 years. It showed that people who eat a lot of animal-food that had been turned into other things first had a higher chance of smoking, of being too heavy, and act in other ways that would give them a lower chance of living for a long time. However, the people who ran the study took away the changes that these other ways that people act from the made to the numbers and found that eating a lot of animal-food which had been turned into other things first would still give a person more chance of dying at a younger age and have lots of problems with their body.

One person from every 17 – 26,344 – died during the study. People who usually ate a lot of animal-food-turned-into-other-stuff every day had around a 44% higher chance of death in the mean time of 12.7 years for which they were studied, than people who usually ate much less animal-food-turned-into-other-stuff every day. The animal-food was not as important at causing an earlier death as smoking was, but was still important enough for Prof Sabine Rohrmann, from the University of Zurich, to say that people should lower how much animal-food-turned-into-other-stuff they ate. They say that if everyone had eaten much less animal-food-turned-into-other-things, then around 3.3% of the deaths they saw would not have happened.

The important people who decide things for the UK already say that people shouldn’t eat too much animal-food-turned-into-other-things. Animal-food that has not been turned into other things is quite good for helping people to live longer lives.

The way in which animal-food is turned into other things is important. If it is simply broken down into small bits and then put back together again then it won’t be too much of a problem. However, if it has other things added to it to make it last for a longer time, then that is a problem.

Other studies have found that eating too much animal-food-turned-into-other-things could cause the bits of lower part of your body which deals with food to begin to grow without any control. This is a very bad thing which scares a lot of people.

*Most normal people think it is a very good thing to let them read the actual study which the story looks at. However, people at the BBC for some reason do not like doing this every time. Instead, they like naming only the book in which the study is from. It is very annoying. Even the Guardian let people easily read the actual study.

(Story from the BBC, the Guardian and the original study)


Very Important Head Man of Scottish Catholic Church leaves position

Cardinal Keith O’Brien is a man who has the job of being very important in a set of people who believe in God and do what they think He says. This group of God people are known as Roman Catholics. Cardinal O’Brien is the Very Important Head Man of the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland.

The Roman Catholics have had lots of problems in the last few years, because several of their sort-of-important people did bad things to children and several of their much-more-important people knew about it and did nothing. It has been such a problem, that it has become a bad joke for many people that sort-of-important people in the Roman Catholic Church and people who do bad things to children are the same thing.  

The Roman Catholics believe that it is wrong for someone to touch someone else with the same bits between their legs and try to make them very happy. However, three sort-of-important people and one person who used to be sort-of-important in the Roman Catholic Church have suggested that over three-tens years ago, Keith O’Brien touched them or tried to touch them in a way that the things they believe say is wrong. This touching appears to have been against their will.

Because these men have said this, the Cardinal has left his job. He asked the Very Very Important Head Man of the Roman Catholics (who is leaving soon) whether he could leave a week ago. He was supposed to leave next month, but, at the last minute, the Very Very Important Head Man decided he should leave now instead. Cardinal O’Brien said sorry for things he did wrong during the time he was important.

A part of his job that he was meant to be doing soon was to help find the next Very Very Important Head Man. He will not be able to do this now, and lots of other people will have to find the Very Very Important Head Man instead. Some are sad that none of the many people that will do the finding come from the UK.

The Roman Catholics believe that all people in the Church from sort-of important people up to Very Very Important Head people should never get married and spend all their life never making love to other people. In the last week, Cardinal O’Brien surprised people by saying that he thought sort-of important people should be allowed to get married and have children. Some people wondered if he said this at that time because he knew he would be in the middle of this news.

Cardinal O’Brien has been saying often and with great might that making someone who has the same bits between their legs as you very happy is wrong. In the last few months he has been shouting about how he is not happy about plans to allow people with the same bits as each other to get married. Because of this, some people, who think people with the same bits between their legs as them are well fit, are happy that Cardinal O’Brien is leaving. They hope that someone else will do his job and be nicer to people like them.

(From here:

Married people still not allowed to give less money to people running the land than not married people

When ever normal people make money from their job, they have to give some of it to the important people who run the land. At the moment, it does not matter whether they are married or not – everyone pays the same bit of their money.

Some people actually have the job of trying to guess what the important people who run the land are going to do before they do it. They make a lot of money from this. They come up with guesses in the days before and write words about what they think the important people who run the land will do. If the important people who run the land then do this, they also look important and people think they know what they are talking about. If they get it wrong, they can pretend it was a surprise and normal people forget they were wrong.

Some people who guess what the important people who run the land were going to do, guessed that the important people who run the land would let married people pay them a smaller bit of the money they make from their job than not married people. They thought this because the most important man who runs the land has lots of people in his party who say they like him to his face but say bad things about him behind his back. These people in his party often don’t like the thought of lots of other types of people and want other people not to like these types of people, too.

These people in his party don’t like the thought of two people with the same bits between their legs spending the rest of their lives together and calling themselves “married”. A lot of them don’t even like two people with the same bits being able to play with each other’s bits. The important people who run the land, however, want two people with the same bits to be able to get married. The people who guess what they are going to do thought that the important people who run the land would need to make the people who don’t like married people with the same bits between their legs happier by giving them a present. They thought this would be done so they wouldn’t talk behind the head man’s back as much. However, people who write words for a job say lots of the normal, not important, people in his party are leaving the party anyway, because they really really really don’t like the plan to let people with the same bits get married.

However, the important people who run the land do want to allow the married couple to change how big a bit of money each of them pays – one of them may pay more if the other pays less.

The important people who run the land come from two different parties. One party is bigger and the other is much smaller. The small party will be allowed, if they want to, to not have their say on the bits-of-money-paid matter rather than to say yes. They still can’t say no, and not having their say will do very little because no one cares about who didn’t have their say.

This could let married people save one hundred and five-tens money-bits every year, which the important people who run the land think will make normal people think, “we haven’t got married yet – let’s get married to save some money!” Some would suggest that this is not thought through very well.


Police lady locked away for wanting to take money for telling things she knew

April Casburn is a lady who used to be very high up in the police. She has been put in a place she can’t get out of for five and ten months. This is because she wanted to take money for telling things she knows to the people who write words for a job.

Ms Casburn had phoned up the people who write stories after someone who worked for her was told to do a different job than the one she wanted him to do. She wanted to look at people who try to kill people by making things that go big and hot very quickly. She was angry that someone was told to look instead at people who listen to phone words that they should not have listened to. The people who write things decided not to write the things she told them and didn’t give her any money. Later on, the people who wrote things at that paper had their jobs taken away because some people at the paper they worked for had listened to words they should not have listened to and no one liked the paper any more.

She had said that she only did it because she thought normal people needed to know the things she knew. However, the man who decides these things said that wasn’t true and she just wanted to make money. He said that what she tried to do could have meant that the job that the police were doing in looking at things could not be done. 

The man who decides these things said she had done a very bad thing, and that normal people would be less happy with the police because of this. He said it also could have meant that people who should have been in a place they can’t get out of may instead have been free to go where they want.

The lady is trying to get people on high to let her be the person who is allowed to look after a child. The man who decides things said that if this was not true he would have put her in a place she can’t get out of for much longer.

Some would say it is strange that police people looked at police people who took money for telling things they knew to people who write words for a job, because they were angry that the police were told to look at people who write words for a job.

(More here:

Argentina doesn’t want to talk to the Falklands about the Falklands

Even though they have talked about them lots and lots in the last few months and years, Argentina has decided that it doesn’t want to talk to the Falklands about the fact that it wants to own the place where they live. The man from Argentina who has the job of talking to people from other places, Hector Timerman, has said that he doesn’t think that the people who live on the place Argentina wants to own are important enough to talk to.

The people from the Falklands were hoping to talk to Mr Timerman and tell them what they think and ask him what he thinks, probably in loud voices. They also want the man from the UK with the job of talking to people from other places to talk to Mr Timerman to say what he thinks too (also probably in loud voices).

In two months, there is going to be a day where everyone from the Falklands is asked who they want to own their land – the UK or Argentina.

The head lady from Argentina has been very angry about not getting what she wants and has screamed and yelled and shouted about it but still doesn’t have what she wants. She needs to look like she is screaming and shouting about it because the people from her land who make her the head lady are also angry about it. If she is quiet they may make her not head lady any more. The head man from the UK has gone out of his way to annoy the head lady from Argentina, because he and the people from his land think it is funny.

This whole thing has been going on for one hundred and seven-tens and ten years. Argentina put lots of their people on the land three-tens years ago. The UK didn’t want Argentina to have men on the land and so sent lots of their men there as well. They all fired guns at each other until eventually the men from Argentina lost and had to go home.

There have been a lot of words between Argentina and the UK about the Falklands in the last five years or so. Each side has spent a lot of time trying to annoy the other because they think a small bit of land, with lots of white-hair animals for eating, far away from other land in the middle of the big water area is very important. This is because there might be lots of black stuff under the big water area near the Falklands which may bring in lots of money. 

(Story from

Ten Hundred Word News

We want to try to tell you some of the big news stories, like lots of other places in computer-land do.  However, we are going to try to do it using only the ten hundred most used words, except for where the words are names of people or places or names of places people work or things like that. We think this may end up being funny. We want to be funny, but we don’t want to make people sad or angry because of what we’ve written. Sometimes we may avoid news stories because they are about not nice things and we don’t want to make people angry by looking like we are making fun of them. Everything written here is done so only with good in mind.

Where we’ve obviously used other words written in computer-land to write stories here, we will try to tell you about that. This is a thing on the side of real life so we won’t often have the time to do it very well.

The computer place we use to write this blog is The Up-Goer Five Text Editor. All this has happened because a funny man once drew this.